In honor of Women’s History Month, we invite readers to consider their own history, the many roles they’ve played, like boxes checked over the years: wife, mother, school volunteer, chauffeur, office worker, or their career, be it doctor, lawyer, or business owner. No matter the boxes you’ve had or how many, they’ve all taken up time, energy, and a large part of your life. It can leave a woman in midlife feeling lost, asking where was the box marked self?
At fifty, writer Kimber Hardick, had an unusual opportunity to look back on her life, and saw her own checked boxes, but “underneath all of that was an emptiness I couldn’t ignore. I had lost parts of myself, to expectations, to the fear of stepping outside the lines and to fit in.”
In An Invitation to Shine, she shares her journey to reclaim the parts of herself she’d buried, and to give herself permission to explore the pieces she’d ignored, notably her creativity, and her voice. What she was doing, essentially, was reclaiming herself.
In the opening chapter, we read of her “a ha” moment – on the operating table, having to undergo an emergency C-section. She was delivering twins, one emerged without any complication, the second was not as cooperative. Despite the anesthetic to put her to sleep, she remained “awake and aware.” She heard the quiet discussions going on around her, and the occasional pressure from the doctors, but no pain. Hardick was “conscious inside a body that wouldn’t respond, unable to speak or signal that I was still there.”
What happened next was something unexpected, an awareness that she was not just a body, but “a place where her spirit lives.” That new knowledge became her truest identity, she writes. The experience of a troublesome birth turned into one of her most insightful breakthroughs; she began to consider when life does not go the way we think it should, new ways of thinking can emerge.
So, what did Hardick do next? Joined a yoga class. It became, for her, the way out of her controlled life. Here she was able to stretch her limits, both physically, and emotionally. Movements that were first stiff and awkward became smooth, and the constant chatter in her mind softened. Yoga was not about perfect poses, she learned, it was about working to leave behind old habits that didn’t serve her, the self-sacrificing, the holding back of her viewpoints, and the need to “present myself as endlessly capable and composed.”
An Invitation to Shine is thoughtfully organized in that each chapter begins with a reflection that centers on a theme. For instance, in chapter 7 titled, “Friendsgiving: Letting Go to Make Space,” Hardick shares a story of how she found herself, like she always did, hosting a regular get together with over 30 guests. Behind the cutting board, she chopped, diced, and took care of all the kitchen needs. When the food prep was finally finished, most of the partygoers had left. A pain began to throb in her back, and it took a friend with massage skills to unknot tense muscles. “Make space,” the friend whispered to the party host. The next party she hosted, she delegated, she let others take up kitchen tasks. She made space. She understood her worth was not in the doing, it was in the who.
Every chapter includes an introductory story, lessons to be taken, and an invitation to reflect on their own experience, maybe release long-held beliefs or ones that no longer serve them. Then, with Hardick’s suggestions, we can consider how to do things differently, consider a new way of thinking, remember the person we were before all those boxes were checked. Readers will have plenty of topics to consider, some may resonate, some may not. But some should strike a chord.
Here are some general, easy to follow tips to get started:
Practice the pause: before reacting to a situation, observe what you’re feeling, don’t act immediately. Think deeper about what that feeling reveals.
Define boundaries: don’t see them as negative limitations, but an important way to conserve energy and leave space for what you enjoy.
Cultivate Curiosity: approach new behaviors and situations with curiosity and compassion; they can show up at any time, and at any age.
For women who’ve spent years doing for others and being strong for everyone else, Hardick invites them to “live authentically, love deeply, and shine unapologetically.”
Kimber Hardick is a Tulsa-based author and speaker, and mother of four. Her work helps women navigate midlife transitions with confidence, clarity, and authenticity. She explores how women can release inherited roles and perfectionism, reconnect with their voice, and embrace their essence — turning midlife into a period of self-discovery and empowerment.
Learn more about the author, join in on her online community, and access her Guided Companion Workbook at An Invitation to Shine.
Photo Credit: Leygh Allison
