My automobile mechanic is located in an upscale suburban town in New Jersey. While he did some basic maintenance, I had the time to take a walk to the community’s lovely downtown, to do a little shopping and have a coffee. The time was about 4 p.m. and I was a bit surprised to see scores of young teenagers walking around on the streets with their friends.
At a major intersection, two groups of kids were pushing and shoving each other when we were crossing the street and I was worried someone would fall down as the light was changing. Concerned for the safety of the teens, I yelled out “Hey, hey, stop.”
I did not expect what transpired. One of the boys asked, “What am I doing wrong?” and another told me, “Mind your own business.” But it didn’t end there. Five of the youngsters followed me for several blocks yelling insulting names (which I will not mention here). I went inside a clothing store, but they were waiting for me when I came out and continued yelling verbal abuses until I entered another store.
To be honest, I was never afraid. The downtown is well lit and very prosperous with coffee houses, restaurants, locally owned shops and brand name stores. What concerned me more was the young people’s behavior toward an older person, I’ll be 70 next year. The verbal insults were startling as was being followed by rowdy teens.
After much consideration, I called the town’s police department the following day and spoke with a dispatcher. I explained what had happened to me and he said that in this type of situation, I could file a harassment complaint. Frankly, I don’t want to get anyone in trouble. I merely wanted to report that the event occurred and perhaps patrolmen in the area could be aware of it in the future to keep the peace.
I have had four children of my own that are now adults. Parenting can be difficult, particularly during the teen years, and most kids just want to be part of the crowd. Going downtown with friends after school is likely something everybody does. No matter where your kids are, their conduct should be a positive example of how you want them to be perceived. When a young person is following the crowd and the group’s behavior results in people being disrespected, it’s time to stop.
If this situation could have been your child or grandchild spending time hanging out with friends, have a chat with them about good manners. That conversation could be instrumental to learning more about kindness and courtesy.
Featured photo by Oleg Elkov at Shutterstock
