Being accused of domestic violence can have serious consequences, but making impulsive decisions can make an already difficult situation worse. If you are facing an accusation, the safest approach is to remain calm, follow court orders, avoid contact that could create additional problems, and seek legal advice as soon as possible.
Understanding what being accused of domestic violence means for your rights and responsibilities can help you avoid mistakes while preparing your defense.
Do Not Contact the Alleged Victim
One of the most important things to avoid is unwanted contact with the person who made the accusation. If a protective order, restraining order, or no-contact order has been issued, violating it can create additional legal problems.
Do not assume that a phone call, text message, social media message, or meeting will help resolve the situation. Even if you believe the accusation is false, communicating directly may complicate your case.
Do Not Ignore a Protection Order
If a court issues a protection order, follow every condition carefully. This may include restrictions on communication, physical proximity, or visiting certain locations.
Federal law can also apply in certain circumstances. For example, 18 U.S.C. § 2262 addresses interstate violations of qualifying protection orders, including situations involving prohibited violence, threats, harassment, contact, communication, or physical proximity.
The exact rules depend on the order and the jurisdiction, so read the document carefully and discuss any uncertainty with your attorney.
Do Not Post About the Case Online
Social media posts can create unexpected problems. Avoid discussing the accusation, criticizing the alleged victim, sharing private messages, or posting photographs intended to prove your side of the story.
Even posts that seem harmless can be taken out of context. It is generally better to let your attorney determine what information should be presented and how it should be presented.
Do Not Destroy or Alter Evidence
Never delete messages, photographs, emails, videos, or other records because you are worried about how they might look.
Preserve potentially relevant evidence in its original form. Your lawyer can review the material and determine whether it supports your defense or needs to be addressed as part of the case.
Do Not Discuss the Case With Everyone
It can be tempting to explain your situation to friends, coworkers, relatives, or other people who ask what happened. However, statements made to others can potentially become relevant later.
Share details with your attorney and follow their advice about communications. If someone who may be a witness contacts you about the incident, avoid trying to influence what they say.
Do Not Miss Court Dates
Ignoring a court date can create additional legal complications. Make sure you understand when and where you are required to appear.
Keep copies of court documents and note important dates. If an unexpected problem prevents you from appearing, contact your attorney immediately rather than simply failing to attend.
Do Not Assume the Accusation Will Disappear
Even if you believe the allegations are completely untrue, do not assume the situation will resolve itself without action. Criminal charges, protective orders, custody disputes, employment concerns, and other consequences can sometimes develop from domestic violence allegations.
An attorney can review the allegations, explain the applicable process, and help you understand your available options.
Do Not Try to Punish or Intimidate the Accuser
Anger is understandable, but threats, intimidation, harassment, or retaliation can seriously damage your position. Avoid confrontations and allow the legal process to address the allegations.
If you believe the accusation is false, your defense should be based on evidence and proper legal procedures rather than personal retaliation.
Get Legal Advice Early
Domestic violence allegations can involve criminal and family-law consequences at the same time. Early legal guidance can help you understand restrictions, preserve evidence, prepare for court, and avoid conduct that could create additional charges or allegations.
Most importantly, remember that an accusation is not the same as a conviction. Your attorney can help you respond through the proper legal process.
Key Takeaways
- Avoid direct contact with the alleged victim when contact is restricted or could create legal problems.
- Follow every condition of a protection or restraining order.
- Do not post about the case on social media.
- Preserve messages, photographs, videos, and other evidence.
- Avoid discussing the case unnecessarily with others.
- Never miss a required court appearance.
- Do not threaten, intimidate, or retaliate against the accuser.
- Seek legal advice early to understand your rights and responsibilities.
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